Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Letting go...

I had actually planned to post about this subject sometime soon. Well today is the perfect day. Today the ladies over at SITS are hosting a link up to Let Go.

There's something I haven't yet talked about here, at least not in depth. It's something I am ashamed of, so I try not to let people know about it. But I really shouldn't be ashamed of this. I know there are others all over the country that are in the same situation that my husband and I are in.

You see, my husband and I , live with my parents. We moved in with them about 3 months after we were married when my husband lost his job, then I lost mine. We've now been with them for almost 2 and a half years. We both have jobs now, but they are contract jobs that don't come with benefits. Couple this with the fact that we unfortunately had accumulated a fair amount of Credit Card debt, and you get a not so pretty financial situation.

I grew up with this ideal in my head, as most people my age do, that you graduate high school, go to college, get a job right out of college, get married, buy a house, and have kids. That's what is supposed to happen. Well, it didn't. I didn't get a job right out of college. I don't live in my own home, and we aren't planning on kids for another few years when we can be financially stable. I don't have a fairy tale life that I always thought people were supposed to have. I have a real life, live like most of the rest of the country does, and that is ok with me.

When we moved in with my parents, we thought it was only going to be for a few months. We had been living out of the area, and we thought that when we moved back home, and got jobs, we would be back on our feet in no time. Well, that would of been the case in a perfect world. However, all this happened during one of the biggest financial crises our country had seen in years. So, getting back on our feet was going to be much more difficult.

We have made the best of a difficult situation, afterall when we moved in we were newlyweds. It has certainly not been easy having 4 adults in one home, each with their own opinions, ideals, and THINGS. The logistics of how to fit all of our stuff was the hardest. We had to get a storage unit which is where our larger funiture lives (except are matress we brought that with us). It was hard at first for my husband especially to adjust to living with my parents and being comfortable at "home". We wanted to respect their space. Afterall they were nice enough to welcome us and our dog into their home. But it was, and still is difficult living with your parents. Logistics of who is cooking, who cleans what room, and how the cars are parked in the driveway were something we had to figure out.

It's taken me a long time to become comfortable talking about a lot of this with people other than my close friends and family. I feel like a lot of people look at our situation and assume we are irresponsible and lazy. We both work hard, and hopefully will both have permanent/stable jobs within a year. We will be paying off the last bit of our credit card debt within a month or two. We have worked hard to get that done. And we're thankful an inheritence was able to help us out with the last push. We now plan on staying with my parents so we can build up our savings so we will be ready when we leave to hopefully buy a home of our own. We are so thankful that my parents were able to help us. We are very grateful that we do have wonderful support system.

So today I am letting go of hiding, and saying hello to sharing my life.

Letting go

Today is only the beginning.


Ludicrous Mama said...

I'm on the other end. I have a friend who has been out of work and living with us for almost 3 years. I feel that I owe him, and he really has nowhere else to go. He cooks for us, and buys all the groceries that he uses to cook. And my husband accepts him. But it's still a hard adjustment. And there are the inevitable problems. "Argh. The stove is disgusting and I just cleaned it yesterday!" "Why are all these dirty dishes piled down here?" That kind of thing. Plus my sister can't stay over, since our guest room is permanently occupied.
So at least your landlords love you unconditionally!
Found you via SITS

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing from your heart about living at home with your parents. I'm glad they're available to help you, glad you're starting to get back on your feet financially. Hoping good permanent jobs come your way! I found you at the SITS blog.

Mel~ @ Lifestwistedstitches.com said...

Oh Honey, How brave you are! Thank you so much for sharing with all of us. I think you are a very lucky woman to not only have the support of family, but to have the opportunity for a fresh start in a bit with your husband and with no credit card debt to boot! If you can find a way to enjoy these moments of endurance I'm certain that your marriage will grow strong and true.

Judy Schwartz Haley | CoffeeJitters.Net said...

It's a tough situation, I've had to live with my parents for a while as an adult as well. It's actually quite common, and I think we're seeing even more of it with the current economy. It's hard to share, but I think, and hope, you'll see that maybe you're not alone in this. Other people can relate.